TSA Explains Enhanced Pat-Downs
The TSA released this PSA to explain why they are conducting more advanced pat-downs this holiday season.
I’m flying soon and don’t want to go through the scanner. My reason? The radiation. I don’t much care for strangers seeing my nude bits; however, if you insist on seeing it then you deserve what you get, considering I’m heavy thanks to having quit smoking more than a year ago and replacing nicotine with chocolate and assorted noms that are delicious.
It’s the radiation. I’ve had three cancer scares. Four if you count the one from when I was 15. My uterus is in bad shape and needs to come out. I don’t want to fuck around with radiation more than I already do. So I am opting out and requesting the titty-pussy-grope.
I do have a question. Do I get to pick who gropes me? Because I’d like to request a lesbian with an ironic sense of humor.
Also, I’ll have my dog. He will be naked already because he’s an exhibitionist whore.
I’m flying soon and don’t want to go through the scanner. My reason?...radiation. I don’t...
Reblogged via funnyordie: Funny Or Die